


A Beautiful Mess

by kenken_chan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Cheating, Depression, Dysfunctional Relationships, F/M, Manipulative Relationship, Minor Armin Arlert/Annie Leonhart, Minor Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager, Miscarriage, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 06:10:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14326284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenken_chan/pseuds/kenken_chan
Summary: Upon attending his best friend’s surprise engagement party, Eren stumbles across an old flame he thought had burned out over the years, only to realize the fire had grown beyond his control, and the rekindled affair takes a more dangerous shape than ever before.





	A Beautiful Mess

**Author's Note:**

> For EreAni Week 2018, Day 2 - Option B: Forbidden Love.
> 
> I started plotting this fic a year ago or so, and I kept working on it on my free time. Since the Forbidden Love prompt for EreAni week fits just right with the theme of the fic, I decided I'd power through and get the first chapter done and published.
> 
> I probably don’t need to say it, but this is merely a work of fiction and in no way does it indicate that I support or agree with certain toxic behaviors that will be touched upon in this. Kindly keep that in mind as you read. Or don’t read at all if any of the subjects tagged causes you discomfort.
> 
> This fic is also nsfw, though I tried to make it as vague as possible. I’ll probably upload a censored version on FF.net sometime this week, so if you’d like, you can wait for that instead.
> 
> Other than that, I hope you enjoy this!

The party supposedly started at 7 p.m, but being on time was never Eren’s best quality, really. Perhaps, on other occasions, it would have been acceptable to be late, but this was his best friend’s engagement party, and he was an hour and a half late.

Mikasa kept reminding him the whole day about it, even made sure all his clothes and the presents were ready, and all he had to do was get dressed. She even offered to drive them there, in case he wasn’t feeling like it. However, despite all her efforts, Eren  _still_  managed to be late.

“Look, I’m sorry.” He mumbled as he parked the car outside, a good distance from the house, for many other cars were parked before theirs, of people who arrived much earlier, people who weren’t even as close to Armin as the two of them were.

“Say that to Armin; it’s  _his_  engagement party, after all.” Mikasa said in a bit of a harsh tone as she stepped out of the car, slamming the door closed and then reaching for a couple plastic bags through the window of the back seat.

“I’m sure he’ll understand. Plus we’re only…” Eren raised his wrist to check his watch as he got out of the car, “An hour and a half late, that’s not too bad.”

Mikasa sent a disappointed look his way. “Do you remember  _our_ engagement party? Armin spent the whole week over, helping us prepare all sorts of things. The least we could do for him is to arrive at his place on time.”

“I know, and I said I was sorry, like, ten times already. How many times do I have to apologize?” Eren checked his reflection on the car mirror, fixed his tie quickly and adjusted his suit.

“Let’s just get inside before we’re even later than we already are.” Mikasa sighed and turned away to walk towards the house.

“Give me that.” He said, once locking the car, and took the presents from Mikasa’s hold.

She shook her head. “I just need you to walk. Please do this one thing.”

“I can carry the presents and walk at the same time.” Eren said stubbornly, and took the bags from her before he resumed the walk. “You know, it’s not my fault he kept this whole engagement thing a secret and only told us last night.”

“He wanted it to be a surprise.” Mikasa explained, walking next to him, “And because he knew how busy you were and didn’t want you to feel obligated to be there and help.”

“Exactly; not my fault.” Eren claimed. “And since he knows I’m busy, I’m sure he’ll understand why I’m late.”

Behind the window of Armin’s living room stood Annie in a pretty, blue dress, with a cup of champagne in her hand. She sipped from it slowly as she watched the couple outside approaching the house, and as they got closer, she took the rest of the drink in one shot and turned around, only to be startled by Armin.

“Hey!” Armin greeted with a wide smile, “Everything okay?”

She held back a gasp and answered, “Yes.” She nodded, “I need to go to the bathroom.”

“Alright, don’t take too long though. We’re serving dinner in a bit.”  Armin brushed a couple strands of her golden hair behind her ear and added, “I know I wanted to wait for Eren and Mikasa, but they’re really late, and I don’t want to keep the other guests waiting any longer—”

Just before he finished his words, the doorbell rang, cutting him mid-sentence.

“I’ll go get that!” Armin said, “See you in the dining room?”

Annie gave him a simple nod, watched him leave the room with half lidded eyes and sealed lips. She poured herself another glass of champagne, letting the liquid almost reach the top before she placed the bottle down. When she glanced out the window again, she saw the guests standing at their front door, and she turned on her heels quickly, leaving the living room and heading upstairs in a bit of a hurry.

Armin stood at the front door, opened it quickly before the doorbell went off again, only to find the two people he’d been waiting to make an appearance right there.

“Oh, finally!” Armin grinned, “I almost called the party off thinking you guys wouldn’t make it.”

“Armin, hey!” Mikasa greeted him with a bright smile, and gave him a tight hug. “I’m so sorry we’re late. I had an accident with my dress and had to—”

“It was my fault, actually.” Eren interrupted her, and gave Armin an apologetic look as he explained, “I came back home late and Mikasa was waiting for me to go together. Sorry.”

Mikasa eyed Eren with furrowed brows before stepping aside and walking into the house.

Armin’s eyes fixed on Eren for quite some time before his lips curled into a smile, and his head shook, “It’s okay. It doesn’t matter if you’re late. What matters is that you made it.”

“Right…” Eren agreed and finally approached his friend, greeting him with a hug. “Congrats, man! I thought we’d never see the day you got married.”

“I guess we’re all late for something, huh?” Armin joked and stepped aside to allow Eren in. He closed the door afterwards and gestured for them towards a door across the hallway, “Everyone’s in the dining room. We’re having dinner in just a minute.”

“Okay!” Eren nodded, and then asked, “Is there anywhere I can put these?” he held up the present bags he was holding to his friend.

“Oh!” Armin exclaimed, eyeing the bags, “You shouldn’t have bothered. It’s just a small party for friends, nothing too fancy.”

Mikasa shook her head, a warm smile shaping her lips as she spoke, “Don’t say that. You deserve more for everything you’ve done for both me and Eren.”

“Thank you! Your presence means more to me.” Armin offered a bright smile at the two of them, and took the bags from Eren’s hand. “You guys can go ahead and join the others. I’ll put these away and join you in a second.”

Eren was the first one to walk into the dining room, and he greeted all of them, receiving greetings back from everyone who was in there. He scanned the place quickly with his eyes, looking for a specific person that he didn’t seem able to find, and soon he realized she wasn’t even there. Among the guests he recognized his friends; Historia was sitting with Ymir to the right, Sasha and Connie opposite from them, Jean just a few seats to his left and some others too. It seemed everyone invited was at least an acquaintance with the rest of them, no family members or anything.

“You finally honored us with your arrival.” Jean spoke loudly enough to get Eren’s attention, “You know another second and we would’ve thought you were the bride.”

“It’s good to see you too, Jean.” Eren merely smiled and took a seat by his side.

Jean arched his brow at him, disappointed that Eren didn’t bother with a snarky comeback, though soon he forgot all about Eren when Mikasa walked in with Armin, looking prettier than ever.

She wore a nice, black dress, tight around her figure, long enough to cover her knees, and though it covered most of her front, the back was completely bare. She wore her hair down, like she normally would, with very light makeup.

Eren side-eyed Jean for a moment, observing the way he stared at his wife, though the other seemed to notice quickly enough and turn back to the table.

Eren pulled the chair next to him for his wife, and she sat down while mumbling a ‘Thank you’.

“Alright, since all of the guests are here, we can finally start serving dinner!” Armin announced, though as soon as he went quiet, he realized another person was missing, “Oh, right, Annie isn’t here. She should be back in a bit, it’s alright.”

“I’m here.” Annie interrupted as she walked into the dining room at last.

Everyone turned their gaze to her, and Eren took a second longer before doing the same. He saw her stand by Armin’s side, as the latter wrapped an arm around her waist. She wore a lovely, blue dress, bare-shouldered, framing her small body perfectly down to the waist, while the skirt took more of a fluffy shape. The color of the dress made her eyes stand out more, big, blue and as sharp as they had always been. She wore her down tonight, as opposed to her usual hairstyle of a simple messy bun.

“Let’s take our seats then.” Armin whispered softly to her as he kissed her cheek, and took her hand in his, walking her to their seats.

They had a maid service hired for the occasion, and the food was served soon after both Armin and Annie took their seats next to each other. The meals were quite fancy, not something one would served on a regular basis, and Eren could barely tell what any of it was, not that he even cared about the food at that point.

Once the food was served, Armin stood up, taking Annie’s hand in his once again to get her to stand by his side, as he held a glass of wine in his other hand. “Just really quickly, I wanted to say a few words. I know we’re all starving by now, and this isn’t going to take long.” Armin smiled quietly for a bit when the others chuckled at his words, before he added, “ I wanted to say thank you, everyone, for coming tonight. This evening wouldn’t be as special as it is without your presence, and I’m happy I can share the joy of this wonderful event with each and every one of you.”

“Awww!” Sasha squealed from her seat, “You guys are so cute!”

Armin shared a smile with his friends at Sasha’s words and resumed, “And Annie here is too shy to say anything, but she’s just as happy as I am to have all of you gathered with us tonight.” He gently squeezed his fiancée’s hand as he spoke, and she looked at him with a still gaze, though remained quiet. “I hope the food is tasty. Enjoy, everyone!”

As the couple sat back down, everyone finally started eating. Annie held her fork in her hand, her eyes deep in her plate. Although she didn’t seem to have an appetite for food, she still decided to eat. She looked up briefly to look around her, listening to the conversations that started, without taking part in any, for she was quiet like that, and it hadn’t changed.

Her gaze traveled from a guest to another slowly, until it landed on the one person that was just as quiet as she was this whole time. Eren was sitting in the far left side of the table from where she was, and as if he sensed her gaze on his, his eyes met hers in a second.

She held the eye contact for a few more seconds before she looked over at Sasha, who was rambling about something from their high school days. She wasn’t really trying to pay attention to what the girl was saying; only seeking a distraction.

Eren didn’t look so pleased, she thought, but didn’t want to maintain the eye contact long enough to read his mind—if she could even do that. He’d gotten much, much better at masking his feelings away over the years. It was almost unbelievable; how the impulsive, emotionally-driven teenager became a calm, level-headed man. Perhaps he wasn’t too subtle tonight, however.

His mind was, clearly, elsewhere, and all he did was nitpick at his plate with his fork, take a bite every now and then. His stomach felt full, and no matter how delicious the food in front of him looked, all that he desired at the moment was the drink, and not even for the taste. He tried to listen to the conversations, though none of the subjects brought up were particularly interesting to him; all the high school talk and past memories of days gone, those weren’t things he liked remembering or thinking about all that much, for he thought focusing on the present and future was much more important.

He was pouring his third glass of wine when Mikasa finally decided to make a comment, “You know we’re going to have to drive back home at some point, tonight, right?”

“By ‘we’ you mean: you and me, so our options haven’t run out just yet.” Eren answered nonchalantly, and took the half-filled glass in his hand to drink from it.

Mikasa frowned. “You’re not halfway finished with your meal.”

“I ate before coming here.” he claimed, “I didn’t have my share of drinks, though.”

“Eren…” Mikasa sighed, placed her fork down and added, “If you’re going to claim that everything’s okay every time I ask you what’s wrong, maybe you could at least act upon it too.”

Eren let out a heavy breath, “Everything  _is_  okay.”

“You’ve been upset ever since you came back last night from having dinner with your coworkers.” Mikasa stated, “Could you please at least put on a smile until we’ve left? For our friend? We can talk on our way back if you wish. Try to forget about it and have some fun tonight for the meantime, please.”

“See, that’s where the drinks come in handy.” He faked a smile and held his glass up, “I’m going to forget, and once that happens, I’m going to have fun.”

“Mikasa is right, Eren. Don’t drink too much. We don’t need another accident.” Jean spoke from Eren’s side, interrupting the conversation with a serious tone and a dark gaze.

Eren eyed him quietly for a moment, his smile widening, “I’m sure you would love to drive us home in case I can’t, won’t you, Jean?”

“Eren!” Mikasa exclaimed, pressing her lips into a thin line. “Don’t start picking fights with Jean like you’re still in high school.”

“I’m just feeling a bit nostalgic, that’s all.” Eren claimed and wore a cheeky smile, turning his gaze back to Jean, “Just messing with you.”

Jean sucked in a breath and shrugged, “Never change, do you?”

Mikasa finally let out a sigh relief and resumed eating, and despite Eren still not putting his glass away, he made the effort to finish his plate at least, and that was enough to satisfy her.

When everyone was done eating, they moved to the living room where they played some calm music and sat around to talk and relax.

Armin was standing with Eren by the window, talking to each other, when Mikasa walked to a lonely Historia, after Ymir seemingly went to the bathroom and left her. She approached the shorter girl with a faint smile and greeted, “Good evening, Historia!”

“Mikasa, good evening to you too!” Historia returned the smile warmly, “How’re you doing? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“I’m good, thank you. How’re you?” Mikasa returned the question.

“I’m so happy to finally have a chance to spend time with friends and relax like this. It feels like it’s been ages since all of us met.” Historia said cheerfully, “It’s nice to have a break from work every now and then and do something other than staying home and watching TV.”

“It is.” Mikasa nodded in agreement, “I take it you also didn’t enjoy last night’s dinner?”

“Huh?” Historia raised a brow.

“Eren came back home yesterday really upset, and he wouldn’t tell me what happened.” She explained, “I figured maybe you did since you must’ve been there. He told me your boss invited all of you out for dinner.”

“Oh!” Historia exclaimed, stuttered a bit as she added, “R-right, that! Uh… I actually didn’t go because I wasn’t feeling so good and I had to go home and rest.”

“Oh, I see.” Mikasa frowned a little bit, a hint of disappointment coloring her eyes, “I tried to ask him about it but he wouldn’t tell me. He’s been upset ever since.”

“I can try and talk to him if you want…” Historia suggested, “Maybe he just doesn’t want to worry you. I’m sure it’s nothing too bad. He’s possibly just stressed from work like we all are.”

“I hope so.” Mikasa sighed, “I’m sorry for bothering you with this. We’re supposed to be here to enjoy our time and here I am…”

“No, no! Not at all, Mikasa!” Historia shook her head and offered her a reassuring smile, “We’re friends, and you can come talk to me about anything, and I’ll help with whatever I can.”

“Thank you.” Mikasa nodded, “Maybe Eren will talk to you, then. You guys are close.”

“Leave it up to me! Don’t worry.” She promised with a confident tone, and that was enough to ease Mikasa’s concern slightly.

“I really appreciate this. Thank you.”

Eren stood with Armin still by the window, a glass of wine in his hand, and he sipped from it quietly as he listened to his friend.

“You should really consider it. It could really help you guys both a lot.” Armin said, “Again, I don’t want you to feel obligated to come, either. It was just a suggestion that I had for the sake of saving time. Otherwise, Mikasa’s really improving. Our last session was great. You can’t believe how happy I was when she told me that she’s looking into finding a job.” His words were spoken in a warm voice, a smile sitting across his face as he spoke.

Eren nodded, “She’s much more energetic, too. She’s been sitting at home for god knows how long. I’m glad to see her gradually improving and going back to her old self.”

“Your support is her biggest motivation, Eren.” Armin claimed, “She’s doing this for you, as much as she’s doing it for herself and the both of you.”

Eren, however, didn’t seem so pleased to hear that, and his gaze darkened. “I hope she’d do it more for herself than anything else.” With a sigh, he added, “All I do is pay the bills. She’s the one who does most of the important work; cleaning the house, cooking, laundry, gardening, grocery shopping… And she’s so consistent with it, too.”

Armin remained silent for some time, unsure of whether Eren was serious or not. “You know I meant your mental and emotional support, right?”

Eren chuckled, “I know. I was joking.”

Armin let out a sigh of reassurance. Of course he was joking. He was no longer as oblivious as he used to be. “You’re both lucky to have each other.”

“Hey gentlemen, I’m sorry for interrupting.” Historia suddenly joined the conversation, standing by Eren’s side with a cheerful smile.

“Hey, Historia! No worries, you weren’t interrupting anything important.” Armin claimed.

“Good, so you won’t mind if I stole Eren from you for a second?” she asked, awaiting their response.

Eren arched a brow and that, sent a suspicious glance her way, though he remained quiet.

“Not at all!” Armin shook his head, “You guys take your time.”

“Thank you!” Historia said and wrapped an arm around Eren’s, dragging him away from the window.

“What’s this about?” Eren didn’t waste a second to ask once they were a good distance from Armin, and to their advantage, the music playing in the room was enough to drown their voices away from any listening ears.

“I was just talking to Mikasa and she was telling me about how terrible last night’s dinner was for you.” Historia started, sarcasm loud and clear in every syllable, “I was either completely left in the dark about this whole dinner with the coworkers, or the dinner never happened, so which one is it?”

“If you’re going to work as a spy for my wife, at least don’t expose yourself from the get go.” Eren commented, ultimately dodging Historia’s question.

“I’m no spy for anyone, here; just a friend worried about her friend.”

“Don’t be. There’s no reason for you to worry.”

Historia arched a brow in disbelief, “Really? Cause according to her, you’ve been acting like a dick ever since.”

“First of all, Mikasa would never call me a dick… so if you try to impersonate her again, try harder.” Eren commented critically, causing a silly smile to form on the girl’s lips. He then proceeded to say, “Second of all, I’m allowed to go places without having to notify literally every single person in my life about it.”

“Eren…” Historia spoke with a more serious tone this time, “Look, I’m only trying to help here. If there’s anything that’s going on and you don’t wish to tell Mikasa about it, you can always tell me. I’m here to listen and help out in any way that I can.”

“I appreciate it…” Eren started, but Historia interrupted him.

“So tell me, what happened last night?” she insisted.

Eren made his best to word his answer as politely as possible, “Nothing that you should know.”

“You know I can be stubborn too.” Historia teased, “I won’t leave you until you tell me what happened.”

“Fine, fine.” Eren shrugged, giving up before the conversation would drag for longer than necessary, “If I tell you, will you please leave me alone?”

“That’ll depend on what you’ll tell me.”

Eren sucked in a deep breath, cursed under his breath, and finally started, “I spoke to Armin on the phone yesterday… just to see how things went with Mikasa’s session, as usual.”

“And?”

Eren didn’t seem too excited to talk about it, and it took him a couple seconds to continue, “He opened up a topic that I wasn’t looking forward to talk about.”

Historia could tell it wasn’t a pleasing subject just by the look on his eyes, though she’d insisted he told her, and so she asked, demanding more explanation, “That topic being?”

“Kids.” He answered, then added furthermore, “Mikasa brought up the subject a couple times to me before, but of course I told her we should wait until she’s actually ready… once therapy started giving out results.” He took a short break to sip from his drink, and resumed, “Armin said that she’s finally recovering from it all, but the only way to fully overcome everything is by going through with it again, and being prepared for all the possibilities. He thinks Mikasa’s at that stage at last.”

Historia furrowed her brows in slight confusion, “That’s… good news though, right? I mean…”

“I didn’t say it wasn’t.” Eren affirmed, “It’s great that she’s finally getting over what happened, and finally finding joy in life again… it’s just that…”

Historia waited for him to continue, but all he did was stay quiet and sip more of his drink, and that was already enough to make her understand what the problem was, so she hesitantly asked, looking for confirmation, “But you’re not ready?”

All he could do was snicker at how obvious he was, and he nodded admittedly, “I’m not ready… so Armin suggested I join them for the next few sessions… to properly discuss this.”

“I see.” Historia frowned, noting the disturbed look on Eren’s face, slightly feeling guilty for forcing him to talk about this when he very clearly didn’t want to. She pressed her lips into a thin line, finding herself at loss for words to say.

“I… needed some time alone to consider it, so I decided to stay out late last night…” he continued to explain regardless, if only to end the conversation as quick as possible, “You can say thinking about it wasn’t as helpful as I’d hoped it would be.”

Historia couldn’t help but place a hand on Eren’s shoulder comfortingly, her brows shaping a frown on her face. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Eren shook his head, and said jokingly, “I’m not drunk enough for that yet.”

“Right.” Historia smiled, feeling a bit of reassurance within her to see Eren trying to stay cheerful regardless. “If you do want to talk about it, though, I’m here.”

“I know…” Eren nodded, “Again, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” Historia smiled warmly at him and she stood next to him for a couple more seconds before her eyes landed on Ymir, who was apparently back and seemingly a bit drunk, too. She was pinching Connie’s cheeks and stretching them out as far as they could go, and Historia released a big sigh, “God! I guess I’m going to leave you now and stop Ymir before she breaks Connie’s face”

“Couldn’t be more thankful to Ymir’s existence!” Eren playfully sighed out of relief.

“Don’t worry though I’ll have enough time at work to bug you.” She teased and walked away quickly, headed towards Ymir and the others.

He simply watched her walk away, took another sip from his glass and sighed, thankful that the conversation was finally over, wondering how many drinks he’d need to have for it to become a mere blur in his memory. When he looked away from Historia and Ymir, his eyes fell on Annie once again, standing a good distance from him with Armin and some of their friends, smiling, laughing—of course, excluding Annie from those activities.

She rarely ever seemed interested in anything going around her, and that was just the way she was. Even at the times she’d be have some interest, she wouldn’t show it, wouldn’t admit to it, and would be satisfied with simply covering it up with the most bored expression she could ever wear.

One would think she would at least smile more for the occasion; her engagement party to her boyfriend for years now, but Annie looked as nonchalant as any other day. She made the effort to listen to the conversation going around her, but their voices would eventually fade away regardless.

She looked up, and her gaze crossed with none other than Eren’s. She could swear he’d been staring at her for some time now, though he averted his eyes away from her shortly after their exchange. Annie, however, didn’t look away. She watched him with dull eyes, sip away his drink. Was this his seventh glass? She lost count when they left the dining table. She wasn’t sure it mattered, though, for he looked as sober as ever to her.

She still had her own drink in her hand, though she grew hateful of the taste after her fourth, and was merely keeping the glass in her hold for occupation. She watched Eren some more in silence, saw him loosen his tie a little bit, and wondered if the air was hot. Come to think of it, she wasn’t feeling all that comfortable herself, and wasn’t quite sure why. Perhaps her dress was a bit too tight around her chest, which made it a bit more difficult to breathe, or perhaps it was the crowded room, and all the company she wasn’t used to. It could be that she drank a bit too much, too, or perhaps the food she ate was bad, and it was causing her the ill feeling in her stomach.

Annie sucked in a breath, trying to contain herself, though the rigidness of her expression was slowly being replaced by a rather uncomfortable one, and none of her efforts to conceal it were working out.

It was suffocating, all of it; the people, the food, the drinks, the outfits, the music—she couldn’t bear spending another second in that room, and she gathered what she could of her power to excuse herself and leave, saying she’d go to the bathroom, and a gloomy Eren watched her walk away from the far corner he was standing in.

He sipped some of his drink, let the bitterness of the liquid burn his throat as he bit down on his lip. He approached the small table to his right and placed down his glass, looked around at everyone surrounding him. They all seemed happy—Armin the happiest, of course, and Mikasa was smiling genuinely for the first time in so long. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to see his wife and best friend happy, really. He wanted that for them, but the cause of their happiness was the source of his pain all along.

He didn’t know what else to do but get out of the room, leave all of the happy atmosphere to those who were actually happy. He didn’t know where to go, not that he hadn’t been to Armin’s before, but he wasn’t quite sure he enjoyed being here anymore.

He walked in the corridor for a bit, looked around at the walls, some of the pictures hung about, and there was one of him, with Armin and Mikasa, when they were still young, just good friends oblivious to what life had in store for them. Staring at that picture was as painful as the memories, and he turned away, no longer wanting to look at it.

He decided to take the stairs to the first floor next, walked a few steps, and paused when he passed by a door to a room he was familiar with—used to be, at least. It was supposedly Armin’s room, and he could remember all the times they’d spent in there, studying together for exams, or playing video games. He held the doorknob, turned it, and surprisingly the door was open.

He invited himself in, walked in carefully and closed the door behind him. The room was definitely nothing like he remembered, decoration wise, but the atmosphere around it was the same as it had always been. This was for sure Armin’s room, still, and that fact hadn’t changed at least. There was a stupid smile resting on his face when he pictured his old self sitting on the bed, rambling about how boring math was, while Armin tried to convince him to focus better. He remembered the one time he hid in Armin’s closet and waited for him to show up and jump-scare him.

He looked around him more, turned around towards a dresser resting against the wall beside the door, a couple of framed pictures sitting there. He stepped towards it and observed them; there was one of him, Mikasa, and Armin at college. It was their first day, even, and he still remembered how excited they were to start fresh, excited that they were still together after all these years. Little did he know that was the beginning of their parting.

There was also their graduation pictures, some hung on the wall, too, as well as a bunch of certificates here and there that Armin had earned. Along the pictures sitting on the dresser was one of Armin and Annie, exchanging a kiss. He couldn’t tell if that was their first date—not that he’d been there, nor did it matter. He hesitated but reached a hand towards it, picked it up to take a closer look. Armin really cared about Annie. He was a good guy, still so, and he’d take good care of her. He understood her, was able to read her mind, and –Eren knew- he’d be the perfect husband for her. He should be happy, really, for both of them, but the longer he stared at the picture, the bigger his agony grew.

Eren let out a heavy sigh, placed the picture back down and turned around. He heard the sound of a door opening coming from his left. He turned to it quickly, somewhat startled—it was the door to the en-suite bathroom, which didn’t exist a few years ago, and out of there walked Annie, and suddenly all the memories vanished.

She closed the door behind her and paused, looking him up, “What’re you doing here?”

“My apologies…” he said, calmly, “I was just looking around… at pictures and stuff. I didn’t know you were here…”

She went quiet, glanced at the whole bunch of pictures all over the room, and sighed, “I see.”

Eren didn’t know what to say, wasn’t sure if he  _should_  even say anything, but it didn’t feel right to let the conversation die just like that. “Are you okay?”

“Do I not look okay?” she answered firmly, her face composed, but it somehow amused him.

“I don’t know…” he bit the inside of his cheek, slid his hand into his pocket, and shrugged, “Are you going back to the others?”

She didn’t seem to have an answer to that, not a quick one at least. “It’s hot. I need some fresh air.” She claimed, gazing over at the window.

“Plenty of fresh air in the bathroom, huh?” he tried to make a joke, but by the looks of it, it made her upset more than anything. Her eyes were threatening, but all he did was shrug his shoulders, “It was a joke. I apologize.”

“Stop apologizing.” She breathed in, “You should get back to the others—if Armin asks, tell him I’ll be back in a few minutes.” She said as she proceeded to walk, going past him and towards the door.

Eren didn’t know what possessed him in that moment, but he pulled his hand out of his pocket and grabbed hers, stopping her.

She paused, looked at his fingers wrapped firmly around her wrist, then up at him, “What?”

He bit down on his bottom lip, stared her down, before he decided to let go of her hand, “Perhaps you have a moment to talk?”

She seemed to consider that for moment before she spoke, “Is there something to talk about?”

“You look like you could use a listening ear.” He claimed, “I figured I’d offer you mine.”

“How generous of you, but I don’t need anything. I appreciate your concern, though.” She turned around, ready to walk away again.

“Annie…” he called her name, almost too familiarly.

She paused at that, and spoke before he could say more, “Please stop.” And her voice was strict when she added, “Whatever you’re going to say, don’t.”

“Why not?” he furrowed his brows, “You’re the one who came to me in the first place.”

She huffed, “It was a coincidence.”

“Yeah, well, you don’t actually think I believe that, do you?” He smirked, “You wanted something from me—let me help you.”

She rolled her eyes at those words, turned around to look at him with the scariest of her gazes, “I don’t need help, especially not yours.”

Eren smirked, his brow arching slightly, “You tell me to stop apologizing, yet you act like I did something wrong. Quite confusing.”

Annie closed her eyes briefly as she inhaled a sharp breath, and said breathily, “You didn’t do anything.”

“Good to hear…” he gave a simple nod, but there were still other things on his mind, a question that lingered at the tip of his mouth, which he ended up spitting in the sincerest voice, “But… I was  _supposed_  to do something?”

“No, and that’s all there is to it. Don’t push it.” She faced away from him again, reaching for the knob.

“Annie…” he sighed. Her response was quite defensive, and she was going to walk away again from him, like she always did, but he wouldn’t allow it any longer. Eren took a hold of her arm, firmer this time, turned her around and pulled her in for a kiss he didn’t know he was going for.

He let his arm wrap around her waist, just to make sure she wouldn’t go away, and for the first few seconds she didn’t seem to have a reaction, to that, only seconds later did her lips move briefly against his, almost to return the kiss, though she pulled away immediately.

“Fuck off.” She wore one of her infamous angry expressions, but Eren was used to all of that, and it did so little to intimidate him.

“Is that what you wanted me to do?” he questioned, looking into her eyes.

“To kiss me on my engagement party? You’re fucking hopeless.” She gripped tightly onto his jacket, intending to push him off, and she would have if she was really trying to, but she was also shaking more than she liked to show. Even looking back into his eyes felt draining, and she averted her gaze from him.

“Annie…” he pressed his forehead to hers, made a few steps so as to press her back against the wall, and he mumbled in the sincerest voice he ever used this whole evening, “Remember that one time I told you…: if you’re ever scared, I’ll be there for you?” he looked deeply into her eyes and when she looked back into his, he knew that she remembered, and that alone made him feel at ease, a bit more confident of himself. He wore a silly smile and whispered, “I’m still here…”

There was something in her eyes, some sort of glistening, whether it was tears or something else he didn’t know, but it assured him she wouldn’t fight back. He took that as permission to plant another kiss onto her lips, one that she now returned, passionately. Their eyes closed, the kiss warm and natural, as if it hadn’t been years since they’d exchanged such intimacy.

She ran her hand down his chest, trying to get a sensation of his body underneath the garment, but the many layers of clothes weren’t making that easy enough. She felt him caress her sides very faintly, could tell he was unsure about it, but she was satisfied he initiated the kiss at least.

When the heated exchange of kisses grew wild, Annie made it to slide her leg between his, lifting it up to touch over his crotch with her thigh, and she smirked at the ragged noise he made.

“Annie—don’t, not here…” he broke the kiss to say, breath hitching, but that wasn’t enough to stop her, for she rubbed her thigh against him regardless, “Fuck—”

“Not here, you say?” she arched a brow at him, “You’re the one who kissed me…”

“Well, I only meant that… to kiss you.” He claimed defensively.

“Too bad…” she shrugged and added teasingly, “And too late… you’re already hard.”

He breathed out softly, a faint blush tainting his cheeks, “You’re still a pain in the ass, I see.”

“Joke’s on you for even thinking that I’ve changed.” She pressed her thigh against him some more, drawing a hiss from him, and used his powerlessness to state casually, “There’s a condom in the bathroom.”

“Jeez…” he let out a breath, “We’re really doing this?”

Annie rolled her eyes, “Well, I’m not the one who’s going to be walking around with a bulge in my pants. If you want to stop, I don’t mind that one bit.”

“Fine, for fuck’s sake…” he exhaled, eye twitching at how willing she was to go all the way, even in the most inappropriate time and place. Eren wrapped his arms firmly around her yet again and picked her up, kissing her as he walked to the bathroom.

He closed the bathroom door behind him, locked it, and then sat her down on the counter, kissing her some more before they broke apart.

“Look for it in the first drawer…” she said, and it took him a second to understand what she meant. She noticed his confusion and added to clarify, “The condom…”

“Yeah, I know…” he nodded, and while he opened the first drawer to find it, she stretched her arms behind her back, trying to find the zipper of her dress.

Eren grabbed the condom from inside the drawer and set it on the counter, watching her struggle for a bit with her dress. “Need some help?” he asked, and she retreated, allowing him to reach for the zipper. He joined his lips with hers once more as he dragged the zipper down along her back, the fabric of her dress loosened around her chest and abdomen.

She undid his tie quickly, left it hanging about his neck as she worked on unbuttoning his shirt. She gave his bottom lip a gentle peck, which he returned and made it to slide his tongue into her mouth, sharing a rough kiss with her until he had to pull back upon feeling her hand rub over his crotch.

“Are you…” he sucked in a breath, looking into her eyes as he let his hand caress her thigh up and down, “Are you sure it wouldn’t be so suspicious that the condom’s gone—”

She flinched, shivered lightly at his touch and mumbled, kissing his neck and finally touching his naked torso, “Let me deal with that… unless you want to deal with something else…”

He smirked, giving her a kiss on the mouth before planting another one to her neck, moving lower, “You know I won’t mind dealing with anything that’s to do with you”

She scoffed, but let out a soft sigh upon feeling his lips on her collarbone.

“Still sensitive…”

“When did you learn how to flirt?” she rolled her eyes, reached for his belt to unbuckle it.

“I learned a lot of things from you…” he caressed up her thigh a little more before tugging at the edge of her underwear, and as she lifted herself up for him, he swiftly pulled the fabric down, “I haven’t forgotten, you see.”

“Good for you. I’m sure you had enough time over the years for practice, too.” She spoke, almost bitterly, and she felt him pause, knew he was going to make a smart comment about how she was jealous, but she didn’t give him the chance to as she unzipped his pants and pulled down on his boxers.

Eren made it to look at her face, appreciating the subtle frustrated look she wore, finding a strange satisfaction in knowing that she felt the least bit envious. He was guilty of that, too, and in a way it was reassuring to share that feeling.

He felt her tug him out, her fingers wrapped delicately around him, and he twitched, could tell she was trying to avenge her pride. “What’re you all upset about? You get to hear the best of it.” He murmured teasingly, reached for the condom and tore the package open.

“I’m not upset—and if this is your best, you’re still just as pathetic as you always were.”

“That’s a compliment, coming from you.” He kissed her again, shutting her up as he rolled the condom over his length. He ran his hands perfectly across the skin of her thighs, feeling her up as he lifted her dress in the process. He let a hand rest on her back, and pushed her hips towards him, “I missed that.” He broke away from the kiss to whisper, finding the right position before he pushed into her.

She made a soft noise, muffled, and he kissed the corner of her mouth, held her firmly against him before he began moving slowly.

He breathed out into her ear, felt her shiver against him, and it brought a smile upon his lips, more so because of the nostalgia—the way her small body felt in his arms, the faint sounds she made, and the only times her cold expression would fade away, and she’d look more vulnerable than ever. “I missed you…” he whispered the words unintentionally, though he was barely focused on censoring his thoughts at this point.

 _I missed you too_. Though she’d never say it, it wasn’t hard to figure out, not to him at least. She closed her eyes, wrapped an arm around his neck, snaking her fingers through his hair as she dragged his lips back to hers, kissing him as she shifted her hips slowly against his.

He used his free hand to caress up her side, feel her abdomen over the loose fabric of her dress, and as he let his hand move up freely, he cupped one of her breasts in it, stroking her gently over the fabric of her bra. He slowly pulled out, pushed back in right after, and let out a soft sigh, feeling the heat rise within him.

It was strange, being in this situation with her again after so long, but it wasn’t a bad kind of strange. Between the guilt and the longing, Eren decided not to think anymore, to focus on the moment, on the here and now, on her, and every bit of her being. He parted his lips from hers eventually, panting faintly as he looked at her face. Her eyes were barely open, cheeks flushing with a red shade—could be because of the heat, could be because of a genuine blush, but that didn’t matter in the bigger picture.

He kept the pace stable, slow and gentle, perhaps not the way she liked it, especially not when they risked being caught, but he still wanted to get the best out of it. He trailed kisses down her cheek, the soft skin of her neck, inhaled the scent of her perfume and blew a hot breath into her chest.

Annie tilted her head back slightly, gripped onto his hair and let out an exhale of pleasure at the feel of his mouth against her skin, shivering slightly. “You wouldn’t kill me if… you went a little bit faster than that…”

Eren smiled against her chest upon hearing that, pulled back to look at her with a sweet, cocky smile on his face, “I thought you wouldn’t ask.”

She furrowed her brows at his offensive smirk, was about to curse him but he didn’t give her a chance to, as he kept her mouth busy with a kiss. She decided she could curse him later for all she wanted, but for now she wrapped her arms around his shoulders tightly, pressing into him. She felt him pick up the pace gradually, and while that was building her up towards a promised bliss, it wasn’t quite enough yet.

Eren held her by the hips, eased in and out of her repeatedly, but the position wasn’t allowing him the full satisfaction. “Annie…” he hummed softly into the kiss and placed his hands perfectly on her lower back, picking her off the counter and moving away to press her against the wall instead.

She wrapped her legs perfectly around his waist, holding onto him tighter, exchanging heated kisses with him, which had her out of breath—both of them, and they broke away, panting hard. She closed her eyes, felt his forehead press to hers, and their breaths mixed with one another’s. She could feel the pleasure finally building up to something, and it shook her control over her voice, making her moan a little too loud for someone who was trying to be sneaky.

“Annie—are you trying to… get us caught?” he got the words out with heavy breaths, pressed her against the wall harder as he picked up the pace even more.

“You’re… one to fucking ta—ah!” she let out a heavy sigh, the entirety of her muscles clenching for a couple of seconds as she hit the bliss, sooner than she thought.

Eren felt her body relax against his moments later, realized she was done, much to his surprise, but that was enough of satisfaction to his ego. It only took him a few more seconds before he released, too, groaning against her collarbone as his whole body trembled with pleasure. He made his best effort to stand still and hold her up against him as they both came down from it all.

Their breaths were still hot and heavy, bodies shaking, and Eren looked at her face with a hazy gaze, appreciating her vulnerable state one more time before pressing a kiss to her forehead. “You okay?” he asked, already expecting her to glare at him.

“Fine…” was all she could answer with, though she made the effort to add as she rested her head against his shoulder, “Stay for a bit…”

Eren’s eyes widened slightly at the request, but he complied regardless, holding her still as he rested his head on her shoulder. “I’d forgotten what this felt like… with you…” he mumbled in a soft voice, “I didn’t think I had but… it feels too fucking good.”

Annie closed her eyes, took in a deep breath and then sighed, feeling the coziness of his body warming her up. She enjoyed that for a moment in silence and then spoke, “Let’s pick a more private place next time…”

At that, Eren froze, realizing just then what had happened, and what those words meant. This really couldn’t be it, could it? He’d gotten himself into this mess yet again, after all those years of promising to never make the same mistake again.

A smile forced its way onto Eren’s lips, one that eventually grew into laughter in mere seconds, which had Annie lifting her head up to look at him with a puzzled face.

“The fuck are you laughing about now?” she questioned, more out of concern than bother.

He shook his head lightly, managed to quiet himself down as he looked into her eyes and answered, “You know, Annie… you remind me of all my mistakes…”

Her brows furrowed instantly at that, anger seeping into her face once more, and she scoffed, “So  _now_  I’m a mistake…”

“No, no…” his head shook, “You’re not a mistake…” he corrected, and then added, “… But everything else is… and it’s…” after a short pause, Eren looked into her eyes deeply, his thick brows arching into a frown, soon washing away all the livelihood that resided in his face a few minutes ago. With a heavy breath he added, “It’s so much easier to forget when you’re not here to remind me…”

And it wasn’t long before all the brightness in his face vanished away in a heartbeat, the pleasure replaced with guilt, the satisfaction overcome with regret.

At that moment he remembered what a giant mess his life was, and his helplessness to make any of it right.

_To be Continued._


End file.
